Today the little guys are 5 days old. They all have their ups and downs today has overall been a good day. Yesterday I was discharged from Winnie Palmer it was a very sad and happy time. I wish I took more of an advantage to see the babies more often when they were just an elevator ride away. As miserable as I was when I was there not being able to see my daughter I am happy she is with me now. Every day as the babies struggle to make it to then next day I regret my decision to let them take them so early but then again I don't know how long Logan would have made it with no fluid. I once again know everything is in God's hands but every time I see there little bodies struggling to breath I wish there delivery could have waited.
We are staying at Ronald McDonald House until Sunday with so many other families that have babies and children in the hospital. I met a little boy tonight that was born at 26 weeks that was hospitalized for 5 months and had 6 surgeries. He wears glasses and is small for his age. He is 6 and is the size of a 4 year old, I am sure he has his struggles but looks healthy. I just continue to pray they LIVE and do not suffer and have the best life they can possibly have. I hope that there biggest struggle is getting past there respiratory issues and the rest is just growing and learning to eat.
I defiantly think the depression has set in. I want to be home and have everything go back to normal for Ava, but at the same time I do not want to leave my babies behind. It is hard being hear with Ava. We can not stay long in the NICU with her. She gets upset because she can not touch the babies and cries because she want me to hold her all the time, so we only get a few minutes at each babies bedside.
I talked with Jacob's nurse today and she said once he and the other babies become more stable I need to come up daily or every other day to do Kangaroo bonding or whatever she called it. This is were you hold them for at least an hour at a time skin to skin. I look forward to this. I only held Andrew for a short time and now he is in a state where he can not be held again.
Since we have Ava with us and we can't stay long when we all go. I went around 5pm to see the babies and Jack is over there now while I stay with Ava in the room. My latest updates I have is that Andrew is still on c pap and has the lights over his incubator but his bilirubian levels have went from 14 to 9 and his feeding have increased from 3cc to 4cc the nurse said she is still getting a little residual left in his belly but overall is doing well with the breast milk. He still has not had a bowel movement. Also he is very swollen his face, abdomen, hand and feet are puffy. The nurse said it is from the c pap. Jacob is doing very good today. When I seen him this morning he was on c pap still when I came back this evening he was on the nasal cannula like Andrew used to be. His O2 sats were kinda on the lower side of what they will let them be, but the nurse keeps saying he is doing fine. He is the only pooper she said he was also having some residual breast milk in between feedings and it had some green come back. She said they gave him something to help him poop and he had to big bowel movement YEA! for poop. He is also off of the light therapy. This evening was the first time I seen his face without a mask or tubes coming from his nose or mouth except for the feeding tube. He open his tiny little eyes for a few seconds. Logan is off the high frequency ventilator and back on the other one that breaths for him when he does not for himself. His O2 sats were also on the low end running around 83 to 84% He started 1cc feedings the other day and is doing okay. His lungs are looking much fuller and better and his blood gas looked okay too. The nurse said he is still on antibiotic but as off this morning there was no growth in the blood culture.
I go to the Dr. Barrett in Lakeland on Friday to have stables removed from incision. I am still very sore but and moving around much better. What sucks is you have to walk from R. M. House to the Winnie Palmer it is only 2 block, but is not a fun walk when you have a huge cut down the lower half of your abdomen. This is a nice place, but I feel uncomfortable hear and want to go home. I am sure once I am home I will want to be back.
I know this is going to be a VERY hard few months. I know I will have to go back to work before they come home and there will be times I can not see them every day. I cry every time I think of them not being with me. I chose to stay through Sunday so I know they will have enough breast milk just in case I can't come every day. I hope I am allow to drive after Friday. Friday I get staples out then I am going to get my car taken care of for the long drives. I am going to put new tires on an evil credit card and get my oil changed. I think it will be better for Ava to be home. I am going to try and find someone to watch her for a few hours every day and just make the drive over when the time comes to hold them etc. I just think it will be better and less stressful on her.
Jack has been wonderful through all of this. I just wish it would have not taken preterm labor for him to realize what a serious situation is was to keep them in as long as possible. Though it was probably the preterm labor that has saved there lives thus far. It is amazing how God works. I know Jack is under a lot of stress taking on the bulk of Ava's care, worrying about the babies and me. While trying to work when he can. I can't wait for the stressful days when we have 3 healthy babies screaming at one time at home thriving.
I will post more pictures when I get them uploaded. Thank you every one for all your prayers and words of encouragement. They are greatly appreciated and still needed. Please continue to pray our babies win this battle.
JACK JUST WALKED IN AND SAID THAT LOGAN JUST TOOK A STEP BACK HE IS BACK ON THE HIGH FREQUENCY VENTILATOR AGAIN BUT AT THE LOWEST SETTING. PLEASE PRAY FOR HIS HEALTH THAT HIS LUNG MATURE BETTER. I HATE SEEING HIM SUFFER!
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