Friday, May 25, 2012


My baby at her preschool graduation.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Moving Forward

Trying to type with a baby on my chest. This should be fun. Hannah is 15 days old now. The attempts to actually breast feed her have been non existent in a few days. I am in the same habit I had with my last 2 pregnancies. The breast pump has been by friend. Pumping about every 3 hours during the day and once or twice in the middle of the night. She is still getting only breast milk, but bottle fed. She has not been the perfect little sleeper she had been previously. She is enjoying waking up at least 3 times at night for the past several night. I am loving every minute of it. You really take these times for granted when your babies spend months in the hospital. Outside of the c section issues, I don't mind getting up at all. Tonight is my 1st solo night. Jack went back to work today.

Having some issues with my c-section incision It has separated in several spots. 1 is kinda big but it is superficial. I seen the doctor the other day. He said he does not think it is infected but gave antibiotics just in case. It is red in some areas. I did not want to start the antibiotics because he told me I could not give her breast milk due to risk of thrush and diarrhea for the baby. I am getting worried about the incisions appearance and think I will call the pediatrician and get her option on breast feeding on the antibiotic and possibly start it tomorrow. I don't want to end up with a massive infection. My last c section healed so nicely...this time I have not been so lucky.

Jacob went for his gastric emptying study today. We should have results by the end of the week and have an appointment with a surgeon in the next week or 2 to finally get the vomiting issues under control. I HOPE.

My mom has been down from AL with me since the day Hannah and I have come home from the hospital. Her plan was to stay for 8 weeks since I can not lift Jacob and I am having issues with the c section site. Unfortunately we got bad news today. Her job denied her leave of absence and she has to be back at work by Monday or she will be fired. She honestly does not know if they will fire her anyways. I will feel so bad if they do. She said she is coming back if they do....I don't understand why she was able to take time off when I had the triplets to help, but not now. They told her it was denied because I am not considered her dependent anymore. I am going to be really sad to see her go. She has been such a big help. My sister Sarah will be down on the 1st of June for 8 or 9 days. So I will only have a few solo days...with my sister taking over it will get me through the 1st month and hopefully the incision site will be healed better and I will be able to pick the boys up again. As of right now it seems like it is separating more and more and the OB said not to put steri strips on it. I wish he would have stapled the incision closed like they did last time instead of  glue. I think the glue came off to fast and just was not good enough for this fat girls skin.

15 days old

Gastric Emptying Study

My sexy c section incistion 15 days out NASTY.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

Ava has been so excited for days to give me the gift she made for me at preschool. I am very proud of her for being so patient and waiting. She called my mom into my bedroom yesterday to show it to her, then she hid it under my bed. Then told me I could not look under the bed (which I couldn't get down there anyway because of the c-section incision) because daddy had something hidden down there. She was really upset on Friday when I told her Saturday was not mother's day. So, this morning she was wrapped up with playing with her cousins that spent the night she forgot about her gift. My sister Patricia came over this morning and made breakfast for everyone. The kids went outside and picked flowers for us. Ava gave me flowers in a cup, my mother who is staying with me from AL to help with the kids and new baby, and some for my sister Patricia. It was so cute.

This afternoon we met with Jack's parents. Ava made Jack's mother a paper airplane that she decorated. We gave her a plant that she helped pick and a card. She also drew my mother a picture of the both of them and and a flower with pink clouds in the sky. She is just to cute and I love the age that she is at. She is getting so big. I am so proud of her. She is so loving and has a heart of gold. She definitely has her moments, but I am so proud of her. Her last day of preschool is next week. Then next school year my big girl will be in Kindergarten and in less than a month she will be FIVE!

Andrew also drew me a picture today. He scribbled all over a piece of paper. He had Ava draw "mickey mouse". He is a die hard fan. Then he crumbled it up in a ball and threw it at me. LOL I love him. He makes sure he gets his mommy time in. Him and Ava fight for "the best seat in the house" which is usually sitting next to me or Jack...pretty much who ever is sitting on the chase lounge on the couch. Andrew gets his share of wins. The baby was up until 4am this morning so after breakfast I decided i would take a nap. Andrew climbed in bed and sat next to me. He can just lay next to me...he has to make sure his body is touching me at all times. My mom was laying with me and when  I woke he was between with part of his body touching each of us.

Jacob has been so calm and such a happy little boy since his leg injections. He is not summer loose, but definitely a lot better than before. When he stands his legs slide apart like he is trying to do a split instead of crossing over the top of each other. He has stopped scratching his face. He has been more "verbal" making a lot more sounds and noise instead of just crying. Since the new baby is hear he went from being "the baby" to I don't know what. Makes me realize how big he really is. Kinda scares me not thinking of his as a baby anymore. "The babies" will be 3 in July. Where does the time go? He is taller than Andrew. He is so happy and I'm so glad I am his mommy.

Hannah, wow I never knew I could love another child so much. I was really worried I would have issues bonding from the traumatic birth with the boys. While she was inside I loved her, but I tried to hold back my emotions. We also had name issues and I did not have an identity for her. As soon as I woke up in the recovery room, I felt my stomach and the void of not having her with me, made me long for her. It was 3 hours from the time of her birth until I got to mother baby that I finally got to lay eyes on her and see her little face. I loved her before I even saw her. At 1st I was okay with no seeing her birth, but now I am sad. I cried tonight thinking about all the strangers in the room that got to see, hear, and touch my baby before I got to. Then I felt very angry that not one person told me about her birth in the recovery room. I was in so much pain when I woke up, but no one said anything to me. Not even a weight, height etc. I only knew what time she was born because I looked at my right arm that said baby girl Gunter @1137. I heard the nurse say her weight in report when they took me to my room. Trying not to dwell on what I could not control. I had so much anxiety when they tried to get the spinal and then the epidural in. I cried the entire time. I really tried to relax, but they could not get it. It bothers me Jack could not be there either. It was 20 minutes before he got to see her after she was born, but I am glad he got to hold her and love on her for almost 3 hours before I got to see her. He loves her so much. He is watching The Muffets sitting on the couch with her right now. She is sleeping on his chest. She is the best baby. I could not asked God for a better edition to our family. My heart is filled with joy and love and not sadness. I am soaking up this time having my husband home with me for a few weeks and my mom being her, before it goes back to the normal every day routine. I am starting to miss my job already and it is starting to sink in that I am no longer an emergency room nurse. UNEMPLOYED! It scares me, but I am glad I get to devote all my time to my children right now.

My recovery from the c-section has been good so far. The 1st 3 days I need pain medication all the time. I have not taken anything for pain in almost 2 days now. It still hurts to get up and down. Hurts to cough. They used the same scar that it is vertical from the triplets. Last time they stapled the incision closed. This time they used dermabond glue. I wonder how the scar will look this time. Defiantly not as strait as it looked last time. Maybe it is just the swelling...we will see. I am swollen from my feet all the way up to my waist. Funny thing things you forget...I forgot that I was swollen like this after the triplets as well.

Well the baby has been asleep for about an hour so I guess it is my turn to go as well.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Hannah's Birth Story

Taken from Hannah's blog

Well Mommy and Daddy had to be up at 0630 am to get to the hospital by 0730 on May 8th for your birth. Aunt Tricia and Aunt Tabby came to watch your brothers and sister while we went to the hospital. Mrs. Jill took Jacob later that day and Aunt Tabby stayed at our house with Andrew and Ava while we stayed in the hospital with you. Your birth was scheduled for 0930. They started an IV and took blood. We did not get back to the OR until around 11am. They tried to do a spinal block 2x and and epidural 3 times. They were unsuccessful with these attempts. Your daddy waited out side the OR while they tried to get everything ready. They told me they had to put me to sleep and that I would miss your birth since they could not get the spinal or epidural in. I cried and cried the entire time they tried. My heart sank for you daddy as well. He was not allowed in the room since I had to go to sleep. You were born at 11:37am. They took you from the operating room at 11:57 am. Your daddy waited outside the door for you. He got to follow you to the nursery for them to clean you up and give you your first bath. I woke up in the recovery room in a lot of pain. I was by myself and the nurse was not very friendly. I asked for you and they called for them to bring you to me. No one ever came. I was in recovery for 1 1/2 hours. I was finally taken to my room at 2:30, 3 hours after you were born. I came into the room to find your daddy holding you. I am so glad that he got to spend that time with you when I could not be there.

After we settled down. Your Aunt Tricia and Tabetha brought back your sister Ava and your brothers. Your brothers slept the entire visit. My friend Tanya also came with gifts. Everyone held you and commented on how big you were. By the way mommy also did not get to find out how big you were until I was leaving recovery. I only heard when she called report to the other nurse. Once I seen you your daddy got to tell me the details . You were 9 lbs. 1 oz. and 21 inches long. You are so beautiful. I love you so much. I love holding you and never want to put you down.

You are such a good sleeper. During the night you only wake up once or twice to eat and go back to sleep.We left the hospital and got to bring you home on May 10th around 4:30 pm. Andrew and Ava was so excited to see you. Ava wants to hold you all the time. Andrew tries to give you blankets. Jacob laughs and giggles when we put you next to him. You are so very much loved and I look forward to watching you grow every day. You are 4 days old today. I'm watching you sleep in you swing as I type this.

Yesterday we took you to your 1st doctors appointment. You checked out perfect. You are currently 8lbs 13oz and still 21 inches long.  We go back again in 2 weeks.
walking back to the operating room

pushing baby out to Jack

in nursery getting clean

with daddy waiting on mommy

waiting on mommy to get out of recovery

meeting mommy and mommy feeding you

big brothers

big sister holding for the 1st time
My babies

totally medicated
Jacon and Hannah

2 days old
2 days old Sleeping Princess
Jacob and his sister
The gifts

About to leave the hospital to go home

In the car seat for her 1st car ride

Going home
Just got home and Ava already HAD to hold her and Andrew never trails far behind.

The Mamaroo

Jack and Hannah 59/12
 Andrew ad Hannah 5/9/12
Hannah headed to her 1st doctor appointment 3 days old
Hannah 4 days old

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

She is here

9lbs 1oz 21 inches Hannah Rose Gunter

Today is a BIG Day

Today nearly 3 years after my last traumatic birth of my triplets I get to deliver a FULL TERM rainbow baby. I'm nervous, but have prayed a lot asking God to take the anxiety away and let me enjoy the blessing of having a full term healthy baby again. I am so grateful that I had a very uneventful pregnancy. I got to work until Sunday....and I am now unemployed by choice. I'm scared about the single income and massive pay cut along with having another baby to take care of. I'm trusting in God that I am making the best choices I can for my family for the moment. I think I need to be home with them at least until school starts and then we will see. I want to exclusively breastfeed this baby. Have some sort of "normal" experience. Ava was an induced vaginal delivery. I was scared to death, her being my 1st child and I had a hard time bonding at first and she never learned to latch properly and I pumped and bottle fed her for almost a year. I HATE BREAST PUMPS! Then the triplets....I did not get to see them born because I panicked and started freaking out on the table when they started cutting and next thing I remember I was awake and they were gone. Once again with 3 28 week preemies we pumped and the babies got only mostly breast milk for almost 7 months. My milk dried up shortly after Logan passed and then the boys finished out their 1st year on infant formula...once again they never latched. I HATE BREAST PUMPS! Soooo I have faith this baby is going to be "normal" lol and we are going to have a latcher....I  do NOT want the breast pump to be my best friend for the next year.

Yesterday was not good. Full of anxiety and stress, not what it should have been. Should have been full of excitement and anticipation for the blessing of today. I cried the entire time at my pre-op OB appointment. I made the decision to have a planned c-section instead of a VBAC. I feel the need to have "control" over the birth so I can better plan for my other childrens' needs. I prayed I would go into labor and my cervix is just not ready. I could have waited another week, but even with Ava I never went into labor on my own...well apparently I was with the triplets and had no clue...crazy.  I may regret my decision later but I'm sure my nether regions will appreciate not receiving the same trauma experienced with Ava's birth again. I could not sit for weeks due to massive tearing and couldn't poop for 3 months without crying...just thought you should know. LOL My recovery with the triplets was not so bad. Praying for a very uneventful recovery again this time. Since I chose a c-section this time if we plan on anymore children in the future I no longer have the option to have a vaginal we are not getting any form of permanent birth control. At least I got to experience that "joy" with Ava. I do dream of the perfect vaginal delivery, but decided c-section is best for my need to plan....I can't rely that someone will be there to care for Jacob and the other 2 children in the middle of the night etc. I don't want my husband to have to stay behind and miss his daughter's birth....he has enough emotional issues after the Triplets. He has been way more emotional over the past week than I have....I have had a hard time trying to comfort him due to my own anxieties causing me to feel a little hostile toward him...totally wanted to punch him all day yesterday. After hours of praying from my lack of sleep this morning, I feel calm and at peace. Not sure how I will feel in a few hours. I've had some major trusting God and believing in pray issues since Logan died....and I'm trying very hard to give my whole heart back to Him and knowing HE is in control of everything. Today was the 1st time I really prayed outside of a typical night time prayer in a long time. I'm releasing these anxieties to my faith and leaving everything in God's hands because in the end I really have no "control" He does.

I leave my house in about an hour from now. To be at Labor and Delivery at 7:30. The c-section is scheduled at 9:30 if things go as planned. I have not eaten since about 9pm or drank since 11:30pm. Totally wanting to drink something right now. My blond haired babies have been up with me since 3:30 when they "sneaked" according the Ava in my room. I came to the living room and they followed. Andrew had been attached me all morning. He has to be touching me in some form at all times. About to leave the kids on the couch watching Disney Jr. to go take ANOTHER antibacterial shower and get ready to leave. My sister should be here to take over at 7am so we can leave. Wish us luck. I will try to post by the end of the day. :-)

Friday, May 4, 2012


Wow so many things are changing around here so fast! This weekend will be the last weekend at my job before I become a stay at home mommy for awhile. Really trusting in God that we will get through the massive income loss and stay afloat.
Jacob had most of his procedures done that were scheduled at Arnold Palmer Hospital on Wednesday. Jack was a nervous wreck about being there and about Jacob going into the OR to have the procedures done. My heart ached that I could not take the pain away from him that he was feeling. The surgery waiting room is the same room we sat in several times while Logan was alive having various surgeries done. The hall that connects to the NICU is also right in front of the door to the waiting room...and according to Jack the windows in the waiting room look directly toward the room he was in when he died. He was shacking, he could not eat, he sat in the bathroom and cried so no one seen him. After we got to the recovery room he calmed down. I was not so worried anytime your child has sedation it is scary, but this time his procedures were very minor. The physical medicine doctor did phenol and botox injections in his legs and arms and the GI doctor did an endoscopy and placed a Ph probe. The endoscopy showed gastritis in his stomach. Everything else was normal. We stayed over night in the hospital for the Ph probe. He vomited several times and gagged a lot...which was good since the last time he had one he did not. So now they can finally see what we go through at home with the testing. He was suppose to have a gastric emptying study done before we left the hospital, but it was not scheduled until 230 and apparently it takes 2 hours. I had an OB appointment I could not miss, so we decided to have it done outpatient. Hopefully we can get it done in the next week or 2. Over all he is doing great. His muscles are looser, but not as much as I thought they would be. His arms are great, but his legs are better, but are still tight. The botox takes time to work though. What we see now are the results of just the phenol. He has been vomiting a lot, but he was off his reflux and gastropheresis meds for over 5 days and we just restarted them yesterday.
Andrew got his 1st big boo boo today my nephew James slammed his fingers in the door and locked the bathroom door so it took my husband a few moments to get him to unlock the door to free his baby hand. :-( He was way less dramatic about it than Ava would have been. It did break the skin, but he is moving them fine now. He keeps showing me his hand and telling me "broken". He is learning so many words and understanding so much. I asked who was making mommy dinner last night and chimes in "not me mommy, not me!". Then he threw a 2 liter bottle at me. He is telling me what he wants to eat and what he does not like. Today he told me hot dogs are nasty and that he wanted "pizza" which is what he calls peanut butter sandwiches.
Ava has a few weeks left in VPK 4. It will be nice having her out for the summer. I can't believe she is starting kindergarten next year!!! She is such a good big sister. She was so worried about Jacob being in the hospital. We picked her up from school yesterday after leaving the hospital and my sister had Jacob with her. She was very upset that we did not have him with us so she could make sure he was okay. Jacob had a rather scary vomiting episode hours after his over night feed stopped this morning. He was screaming for help. I swear for a none verbal child he was screaming help me! Jack ran to check on him and he had rolled from his side to his back and was chocking on vomit. Jack said it was everywhere (I could not get my fat almost 39 week pregnant butt out of bed as fast as Jack could)
He was only getting 2oz an hour and I stopped his feed at 6am. At 8am apparently he had quiet a bit of food left in his belly that all came up. Jacob was upset. He was shaking. I could tell it really scared him. He was foaming from his mouth and refused to swallow or let me in his mouth. He laid in bed with us and finally calmed down and went back to sleep. He is fine now. Ava came in the room with him and layed with him for hours after that.
We had our OB check up and ultrasound yesterday. They estimate her weight at 8lbs 11oz at 38 weeks and 5 days. I suspect she is probably smaller than that. She is facing up and I have no desire to push out another baby face up...especially one that is expected to be large after a c section. So, unless we go into labor before Tuesday we will be having a schedule c section Tuesday May 8, 2012. Her name will be  announced after she is born. I think we finally agreed on a name after months of arguing about a day.

Andrew's boo boo hand...I told him to say cheese for the picture and this is what  Igot
Jacob sleeping after chocking on his vomit
Ava fell asleep worrying about her brother
Jacob in recovery