2 steps back!

Last night I went to see the boys by myself. I had every intention of holding atleast Andrew and Jacob as long as I wanted without Jack or anyones bitching to leave. So I was holding Andrew and he was doing so well. Still on 4 liters at 28% but no desats. He is doing better than he has been in weeks. Logan is backsliding hard. His oxygen is at 49% they have increase the peak and flow on his vent and the meds for his pulmonary edema are not working. He has a bad sodium deficentcy requiring alot of supplement due to the diuretics he is on and his blood count Hct has dropped to 23 as of last night. While hold Andrew doctor comes in to tell me they are moving Jacob back to a critical care nursery to pod 1 and that he is going on isolation until they rule on RSV. Apparently over the last 36 hours they have had to increase his oxygen from 2.5 liters and 25% to 4 liters and 48% and he was still having alot of desats down in the 30s. He was retracting and struggling to breath. They ran a bunch of blood test and did some cultures and the moved him. They also put him on cpap. This was the end of the line for me trying not to cave in and loose it. I can offically say I have had a nerves breakdown. Today they have determined he does not have RSV thus far (btw there has been an outbreak of RSV in the NICU) they took him off isolation. He does show signs of infection and have started him on antibiotic. His longs look like crap, but on the upside he is on 21% room air with a peak of 7. They said they will try to start weening him tomorrow. Logan is getting a blood transfustion as we speak. I wish there lungs would just WORK!