Sunday, November 1, 2009

Better things are yet to come.....

PRAISE GOD! My merciful savior is awesome and always provides! Thank you God for all the guidance and blessing you have given my family. We bought our van on Friday and it just fell into our hands like it was waiting just for us to find it. It is reliable and extremely clean. It is a 2003 Ford Windstar. It is perfect and very affordable. The payment are only $137 a month the babies SSI is $138 a month. Just a wonderful example of how God always provides.

Logan goes to surgery tomorrow. I have had a lot of emotions regarding if we are doing the right thing or not. I have prayed and thought a lot about what to do. I decided that 3 1/2 months of on and off intubeation is enough and the trach is a logical step FORWARD not back. I believe this is the best thing for him, for his development, his healing, and for his comfort. He will be able to seamlessly go from ventilator to breathing on his own, he will no longer have tubes down his throat, no longer have straps around his head, prongs up his nose, or excessive tape on his face. He will be able to eat from a bottle, and his oxygen can be weaned faster.

Logan will come out of this a stronger person. One day when he stands before others he will have a wonderful testimony to tell for himself of God's grace and mercy and his ability to heal. Our entire family is a testimony in its self of God's almighty power and mercy. There have been so many blessings to my family I can't even begin to thank everyone who has been touched enough to help our family through a tough time.

God has provided! God has uplifted us! God has healed and continues to heal my boys!

Over the years I have questioned "When is it my turn? Why do I always do for other and no one ever does for me? How can other people have large amounts of money handed to them while I struggle? There is not special deeds, no amount of money to give, and no magic words to be said. It is simple Do unto others as you would wants others to do unto you. These are my words to live by. God rewards every person differently on earth though are ultimate reward awaits in heaven. I once asked God why me? What the heck am I doing with 3 babies! I realized very early in my pregnancy something I never did before. I should never question God's plan just go with the flow and practice PATIENCE. People tell me all the time, "I don't know how you do it. I would be a mess if I was you. How do you handle all the bad things going on?" It is simple faith, prayer, and patience. Though I do falter and give into the enemy more often than I should. I remind myself that everything I truly believe happens for a reason even if I don't understand it. I have had moments of rage I ask why my children God?! How come other mother's have multiples and come out "normal" why do my children have to struggle and fight? I am excited for my boys I will not grieve upon their difficulties anymore or compare them developmentally to other babies. God has a great purpose for them and I can't wait to see what it is!

1 comment:

  1. I love you all and you're incredibly strong. Know I am here any time and next time do hesitate to call me to go up to the hospital! :)