Not given up hope on the little guy.

I've had a very dark depressed couple days since my last post. Even let my fears get the best of me and played what Logan's funeral would be like over and over in my head. Within a few hours after my last post. Logan was at 100% oxygen and desating and riding in the 80's and has stayed that way until about 4 hours ago. The plan on Friday was to put him on a medication to paralyze him and a medication to sedate him so he could rest and let the vent do all the work. He is definitely not out off the woods yet. Right now he has a peep of 10 and a rate of 48. His Co2 is much better in the 50's He has had 3 does of Sol-u-medrol and his Pavalaun and Methadone have been stopped. The Pavalaun which I am sure I am spelling wrong is the paralytic. His body did not tolerate this well he became very swollen and he was shutting down. His kidneys were not working well, and he was not digesting food. He is recovering from being on this med now and sating in the 90's for my favorite nurse ever Evelyn. He loves her. All day long he was in the low 80's for Tracey but as soon as his Evelyn came in he started high sating for her. He is still on the Nitrous they tried to wean this today and he did not tolerate this either he actually had to go up from 10 to 20. So he is on nitrous at 20 and the actual vent setting for his oxygen is at 95% which mixed with the nitrous is 84% With lots and lots of prayers hopefully we can continue to see improvement get the nitrous weaned and get the oxygen under 60% so he can get his trach. I hope the steroids do the trick! Also tossing the idea of seeing if I can have him transferred to pedi ICU at Arnold Palmer. Some of the staff tells me they have different equipment and ways of doing things for babies past full term. Then I would have to learn nurses all over again. :-( I would esp miss Evelyn. I'm trying to stay strong for Logan. He is still fighting so I need to continue to fight with him. He is the strongest bravest person I know.