Monday, January 30, 2012

Logan's 2 Year Angelversery

This picture was taken from Triplet Butterfly Wings...this is Logan's butterfly

Part of Me...
I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too.
I think of you in silence. I often say your name.
But all I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I'll never part.
God has you in His keeping. I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been. A million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly. In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place, no one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn't go alone.
For part of me went with you, the day God took you home.
-Author unknown
Triplet Butterfly Wings

My dear Logan it has been 2 years since you left us here. I continue to think about you every day. Some days are harder than others. Holidays are hard and sometimes full of tears. This blog will post for you at 1pm...the time I took your trach out to let you go.

This year something  special is happening. You will be a big brother. I wish you were here to see her. Your baby sister is due on May 13th. I promise I will tell her all about you. I will tell her what a brave little boy you are. I will tell her how hard you fought to be here, but how wonderful it must be to live an eternity in Heaven. I will tell her all about God and where you live now. I will tell her how she will meet you one day. I will show her your pictures.

I watch your brothers grow and learn every day and picture what you would be doing with them. Would you have been the mischief maker with Andrew? Would I have 2 crayon artist to color on the walls? Would you be mellow and calm like Jacob? I think about your personality...ha ha I tend to think you would have been coloring walls and climbing on counters with Andrew. :-) If everything was perfect and all 3 of you would have made it out of the NICU alive and neurologically intact..I tend to think Jacob would have been the one telling on you. :-) I can't change the way things are and I continue to trust in God that everything that happens is for a reason. I pray for your new little sister everyday that she makes it to full term. I like to think you are in Heaven waiting for us to get there in eternal bliss not worrying about any heart ache on earth.
I loved you since the day I knew I was pregnant with you and your brothers
That love grew stronger the moment I seen you.....
My heart melted the 1st time I got to hold your tiny body against my heart....
A piece of my heart broke when I had to let you go, but left an imprint on my heart and soul that will be with me forever.

Introducing Baby Gunter #5

A horrible 3D image of your little sister <3

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations, I'm so happy for you with being 'in the family way' as the Amish would say ;)