Today marks 9 years since I made the choice to let you go by turning your ventilator off. It's been really hard on my heart and mind lately. I've struggled with guilt that maybe I made the wrong decision. All the what ifs I can never answer. I've grieved harder than I have in years. My anxiety has been out of control and the depression has moved in. I love you. Your dad and I are headed to deliver the baby bags we do in your memory every year to Oh My Baby. We have 16 this year. 15 in the back of the van and 1 our friend Elisa is bringing in memory of her angel baby Avery. This afternoon your brothers, sisters, daddy, and me will bring new flowers to your grave and do something special thinking about you.